


Troubled Minds

by DanceInPoliceLights



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abusive Parents, Blurryface, Bottom Tyler, Comfort, Depression, Eventual Smut, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, Foster home, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Josh is bitter in first chapter, M/M, Many More Characters to Come, Mentions of Suicide, Punk Josh Dun, REAL ANGSTY, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Teenagers, Top Josh, Trigger warnings on each chapter, Troubled Teens, Tyjo is cute but damaged, Tyler is 16, angsty, but i mean i don't blame him, home for troubled teens, is that even a quesion, josh is 17, many dark themes to come, mentions of drug addiction, self harm mentions, voices
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-02-28 02:08:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13261362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanceInPoliceLights/pseuds/DanceInPoliceLights
Summary: Tyler and Josh were broken. Two flowers growing through cracks of ugly worn down concrete, of broken families and bad habits, seemingly with no hope at getting better. But sometimes with love can come light.Or Tyler and Josh meet at a group home for troubled teens. There, Josh must deal with the other troubled minds, and the mysterious boy across the hall who cry’s himself to sleep praying to be taken out of the world and away from the voices in his head.





	1. Raindrops On Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, This is my first Joshler fic so please be kind ;) It's gonna be an EMOTIONAL RO(ad show)LLERCOASTER! I have so much planned for it so I hope you enjoy this angsty mess ;) 
> 
> TW- mentions of drug abuse, mentions of self harm, mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts
> 
> (also omfg 4,200 words on the first chapter?!?! I swear that wasn't intentional)  
> *inserts snoop dog smoking a blunt*

\- - - - - - - - - - -  


####  **Trou·bled  
** ˈtrəbəld/  
adjective

****

*** beset by problems or conflict.  
** _"his troubled private life"_  
_synonyms:difficult, problematic, full of problems, unsettled, hard, tough, stressful, dark  
\- - - - - - - - - - -_

****

____

____

Josh was _livid._  
Josh was _tired.  
Josh was _sad.__

_____ _

_____ _

Josh was _**unwanted.**_

_****_

_****_

He looked out the window watching his mother's figure slowly get smaller and smaller as he was driven further and further away.

Josh’s eyes burned with tears as he tried not to look back at the bitch who had raised him, and was now just throwing him away. 

"She did it because she loves you." A voice brought him out of his thoughts. He broke his stare from the window and looked forward to the woman in the passenger seat of the car.

"If she loved me she wouldn't have gotten into drugs." Josh commented. He looked back out the window to find he could no longer see his mother.

"Things are hard sometimes. Sometimes we look to things that can numb our bodies and feelings. I'm sure your dad's passing was hard on her." 

"She could have talked to me. I was hurting just as much."

"I'm sure you were. But sometimes people can make irreversible mistakes." Her blue eyes looked back at him.

"I'm not going to forgive her if that's what you are trying to get at." Josh spat.

"And we don't expect you to. We just want you to see and understand why she did it so you are at peace with it." The man sitting in the drivers seat cut into the conversation.

"Exactly. And who knows, she may decide to go to rehab and be liable to be your mother once again. But as for now, you will be staying in our Foster program." The woman added.

"Fun." Josh rolled his eyes as he stared out the window just waiting to get to the place.

~ ~ ~ ~

"We're here!" The two people in the front seat said overly enthusiastic.

They all got out of the car and Josh looked at the establishment. It was an ugly coloured beige brick building. It looked similar to a prison but smaller, and tried to appear more inviting with garden decorations such a gnomes and smiling frog statues. 

"Wow, the waving frog really makes me wanna go in." Josh said sarcastically.

The two sent him cutting glances but chose to ignore it.

"I will give you the walk through before we get you settled." The lady said, "first of all, I'm Michelle. I am like the temporary mother to all of these kids, so as of now if you need anything just come talk to me. That is Patrick," she pointed to the man that was the driver, who was now walking away into the building, "he is the founder and therapist. You won't see him around as much because he is mostly in the office taking calls or talking to the other teens in private." 

Josh just simply nodded as he gripped his suitcase handle and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

"So throughout the day there are many activities you can actually do. Usually all the boys play basketball together, so that's fun!" 

"I don't like basketball." Josh interrupted.

"And that's fine. I'm sure you can find some people who enjoy similar things as you," Michelle smiled before continuing with the tour, "so this is the yard, you can pretty much do whatever in free time so that's a plus."

She then began walking into the building. Instantly he was hit with old 80s style everything. To the shaggy, hideous carpet, to the counters, to the lights. Josh frowned instinctively. 

"Hi everyone! This is Josh. He is new. I am just giving the tour, so it would be nice if after you all introduced yourselves."

"Hi, Josh." The other teens greeted from the living room area that was complete with a tv and 2 large couches. 

"Okay and here we make our way to the bedroom area. The females are on the other side of the building to prevent anything from happening. We do not allow any underage sex, so if you are caught with girl- or boy, there will be consequences." Michelle looked at him in the eyes.

"Here, I will bring you to your bedroom," Michelle walked down the hall, looking for a particular room number. As Josh walked behind her through the hall he couldn't help but glance into all the rooms. Some were adorned with posters, while some were completely bare.

Michelle caught him looking into all of them and gave him a small smile before she turned and stopped, standing in the frame of a room. She stood at the doorless frame and Josh stayed behind her looking over her shoulder.

"Tyler, why aren't you with the other kids?" Michelle asked the boy.

"I don't like people." The boy, Tyler sighed.

Josh’s breath got caught in his throat as he looked at the dainty looking boy, hunched over a notebook writing away. He looked up and Josh felt his stomach flutter. He had deep brown eyes like hot chocolate on a winter day, and these long dark lashes that casted dancing shadows on his high cheekbones when he looked down. His eyes seemed to be analyzing Josh, making him self consciously tug at his messy blue hair.

"Well, you aren't supposed to be in your room at this time. I hear you’re a basketball star! There’s a game going on right now, you should join."

“I’m not,” He said instantly and harshly, “I only play cause my dad makes me.”

“Okay, that’s fine you don’t have to join. You should go outside though, you’re so pale honey. You came in so tan.”

“Yeah, well this place takes the life out of you.” He mumbled before Michelle rolled her eyes and pointed out the door.

The boy immaturely whined and pouted before dramatically sliding his body off the bed before landing his butt on the ground. He stood, grabbing his notebook.

He walked towards the pair. Eyes as big and wide as Bambi as he looked up at Josh. “I like your nose.” He smiled shyly while pointing at his own. 

“Oh um, thanks?” Josh said confused. He figured Tyler meant his nose ring. His nose itself was large and crooked from that time he got his nose broken in a fight over something he can’t even remember. The only this he does remember is waking up in a pile of his own vomit with his face a bloody black and blue mess. He never did end up resetting his nose. Just sat through the pain.

“Tyler,” the boy held out his hand and Josh took it, marvelling at how nice it felt with the combination of Tyler’s soft, small hands, and Josh’s large, calloused ones. 

“You play an instrument.” Tyler said. Not asking, more so stating.

“Yeah. Um, I play the drums. Good to you know-um, get your anger out and stuff.” Josh rocked back and forth on his heels.

Tyler just nodded, “I play the piano. They don’t have one here though so I’ve downgraded to a ukulele. It’s pretty pathetic. My hands are too small and weak for a real guitar.”

“Hey, I’m sure it sounds killer.” Josh couldn’t help but smile.

And Tyler smiled back before walking past Michelle and Josh.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Tyler so chipper." Michelle said confused before she walked across the hall into the bedroom across from Tyler’s.

"This is your room. You can put anything on the walls as long as it's nothing inappropriate. The only time when you can close your door is when you are getting changed." Michelle began telling the rules, "no drugs or alcohol are allowed, no cussing. You need to be in your room by 9pm. No bullying other teens, no going into the other gender's room past 5 and you are not allowed to close your door if you are with the opposite gender." As Michelle ran down the rules Josh thanked the god he didn’t believe in, that he was gay. The rules really were not thought out. Josh didn’t particularly think he would be fooling around with anyone so to say, but it’s good to know that if he were to, he would most likely get away with it. "Oh, and no sharp objects. If you disobey any of these rules we _will _find out and there _will _be consequences. If we catch you closing the door with a girl in it we will take your door off completely for example."____

__

__

____

____

Josh looked through his door frame to Tyler’s room where it stood, no door in sight. He was curious what the boy did to have it taken off.

"I'll let you get settled. I'm sure you want to be left alone for a bit. This place is pretty easy to figure out and find your way around so I'll let you explore. If you need anything just ask." Michelle finished before stepping out of his new room. 

Josh huffed before turning around to examine his bedroom. 

Quaint.

It was painted white with a single bed in the corner and a wood wardrobe on the opposite wall. 

He slung his backpack onto the bed and his suitcase next to it. He grabbed his sketchbook from his bag before leaving the room. He figured he could unpack later.

Josh walked through the halls finding the eating area, the bathrooms, and the office before he finally got back to the living room area he originally walked into. 

There were numerous teens with their eyes glued to the tv. It appeared they were watching the show Catfish making Josh lightly laugh before he stepped out the door to get into the sun.

He looked around. Right away he noticed the basketball game going on between boys, sweaty and shirtless, likely trying to show off to the girls who were walking along the pavement with their eyes on the game. Josh then spotted the boy from before sitting alone with his head in a notebook on the grass under a tree just off of the paved square where the basketball court sat.

He lightly smiled as he began to approach Tyler. His brows were knitted with concentration as he wrote something down in his book. As Josh sat next to him on the ground he stopped writing and slammed his book closed before he looked up with angry eyes. Once he spotted Josh’s shocked face, his features softened to appear more welcoming.

Without saying anything he reopened his notebook and began writing down with a look of concentration back on his face. Josh lightly smiled as he opened his own book. Tyler looked over due to the movement and stared intently at his artwork. 

It was a girl laying on the ground with a needle in her arm. Her face was distorted with fear and pain. Before he could examine it anymore, the page was flipped over. The next held a drawing of a man standing on a chair with his eyes scrunched closed. In his hand he held a crucifix tightly over his chest. Around his neck was a noose.

Tyler scrunched his brows before looking back down to his own notebook and continued on with his poetry.

~ ~ ~ ~

Josh and Tyler didn't talk. They sat with their notebooks in the laps until a few hours later when a bell rang loudly. 

Tyler huffed loudly before slamming his book closed and rising to his feet. He held his hand out with a shy smile to help Josh onto his own feet.

Josh stared up at the boy as he grabbed his soft hand and stood to get to the brunettes level. 

"It's dinner. That's what the bell is for." Tyler informed him with those kind eyes before turning and walking towards the side door that he hadn't been through before.

He sheepishly trailed behind him hoping he wouldn't mind. But he didn't say anything nor even look back and acknowledge his presence. 

His slim body twisted through unfamiliar halls of doors until he got to the dining room he found earlier. It looked like high school again. With numerous tables all adorning groups of friends. 

He stared for a bit until he realized he lost where Tyler went. 

He shrugged before making his way to the half wall that had a line of kids waiting to get their food. 

Once he got to the front, a large dark skinned woman with a big smile greeted him.

"Hi newbie! I'm Latrice, the large and in charge chef. I guarantee the food is DELICIOUS. What can I get you? Tonight's food is Mac and cheese, chicken caesar salad, or pulled pork on a bun!" She said enthusiastically. 

Josh figured he should go with the safest choice not sure if he trusted the declaration of its deliciousness. "I'll have the Mac and cheese." Josh managed out a smile.

"Coming up!" Latrice boomed as she scooped into the metal tray behind her that sat atop a flame, like you see in a buffet to keep warm.

She turned around and dropped the bowl of mac and cheese on the counter and slid it to Josh along with a juice box.

He smiled before turning around and became overwhelmed at all the teens yelling over each other. 

His eyes darted back and forth looking for the familiar brunette when he finally spotted him.

He was sitting alone in the corner. Well not so alone. There was a boy leaning over him. He couldn't hear what they were talking about but he saw Tyler flirtatiously fluttering his eyelashes. 

Josh began walking towards them slowly. He now was close enough to notice the boy’s hand resting on Tyler’s inner thigh. He watched Tyler pull his head down to his lips where he whispered something in his ear before pulling his head back and gave him a quizzing look. The boy furiously nodded his head and Tyler's lips turned into a smile. 

Then the boy walked away past Josh with a big grin. 

Josh continued his path to the table and sat across from Tyler. He looked up acknowledging him and slightly smiled before turning back to his salad, taking a bite.

"Who was that?" Josh asked referring to the boy he was whispering to.

"Ummm-" Tyler started, sounding unsure of himself. "your cool right?" 

"Um- I like to think I am." He lightly laughed.

"You don't snitch?" Tyler questioned as he leaned in looking around to see if anyone was listening.

"No! Definitely not. I won't tell. I promise." Josh looked at Tyler hoping he'd think of him as genuine.

"Okay. He's Brendon. I get stuff from him. I don't know how he gets it but he does." Tyler whispered.

"Really?! What stuff? Cigarettes? Booze? Can I buy some too?" Josh asked curious. He wanted to know for the future. Josh smoked like a chimney ever since his father died. And since they took the cigarettes and weed from him when he got shipped off to this place, he figured it was handy to know.

"You smoke?" Tyler asked ignoring the questions.

"Yeah. So how do you get it?"

Tyler replied with just a smirk before turning back down to his food.

"What?!" Josh wondered not picking up what Tyler was putting down.

"Do you really need me to say?" Tyler lightly chuckled.

That's when Josh's face turned bright red with realization, "you sleep with him for cigarettes?!" 

"Shhhhh!" Tyler chastised, "no, razors and alcohol. And I’m not sleeping with him. Just a few harmless bj’s here and there." He reasoned.

"What the fuck?!" He asked with his eyebrows furrowing, not understanding how the boy could just use his body as payment.

"Look, I don't need you judging me and thinking I'm a slut for doing what I've gotta do. I've got an addiction which I'm sure you do too, whether it be drugs, alcohol, or a razor blade. You don't understand how it works around here newbie. If you think it's just a happy place where everyone is trying to get better, your wrong. It fucking sucks. People cry and break down. People relapse with hidden drugs. People cut themselves in secret. And people fucking die here. So why not you learn your place before judging me for trying to make my stay here a little more bearable." Tyler spat out before standing from his seat and storming away from the table and wandering over to the black haired boy named Brendon, before he leaned down and whispered in his ear. Then the two got up and walked out of the dining room together. 

Josh sat in shock not fathoming what just happened and what was said to him, forgetting about his now cold Mac and cheese.

~ ~ ~ ~

Josh sat in his bedroom alone. He didn't want to explore anymore. He just wanted to fall asleep and get into the realm of dreams. However, it was way too early to sleep. 

He looked over at the digital clock next to his bed that read 7:43 pm.

While you had to be in your bedroom by 9, lights out was at 10. 

Due to the time being too early to fall asleep, Josh went for the next best thing. He pulled out his sketch book. 

He liked to draw things around him, never really liking to draw himself. He was observant. Josh liked to believe he could see through people and tell if they were truly happy, sad, or lost. 

After Tyler's blow up he thought of him as sad and vulnerable. The way he was so defensive made it clear in Josh’s mind there was something wrong. He also didn’t forget about Tyler saying he gets razors from Brendon, and Josh decided they were definitely not for shaving.

Josh was curious as to why he was in here. He assumed probably self harm. Or maybe an eating disorder. He did seemed really thin. Or maybe his family is just fucked up. That's what got him in here. 

That's what he liked to tell himself at least. Josh believed he was normal. Not troubled like the other teens. 

But then again, maybe everyone is a little bit fucked up. What defines a person as normal? Someone who is happy in life? Someone who is content? Someone with friends and family? 

Because if that's what normal was, he supposed he definitely wasn't. 

As he continued to think of everyone he had met so far he felt his hand working along the page. His pencil almost working itself. He was completely lost in the long lines creating something he was unsure of. 

The pencil continued gracefully drawing along the page. Soon long legs on top of a bed came in view. The legs stretched to a proportionate torso that led to protruding ribs. Then a long neck was stretched from the jutting collar bones. A beautiful oddly feminine but definitely boyish face was then drawn onto the neck with sharp cheek bones and sunken eyes, pouty lips and boyish curls. 

Josh smiled down at the drawing, taking in the unusual beauty in his usual cryptic artwork. 

But soon his hand began to work again, ruining the beauty as he made the plump lips form into a frown, and he added the serene looking eyes into distraught looking ones with tears pooling. His eye brows were now furrowed with beads of sweat above them.

His hand continued to scribble, now the lines getting darker as he pushed harder and drew faster. Another body was being drawn above the boy. This one being a male with obnoxious jet black hair and a big toothy white grin. One hand was clinging to both the boy’s wrists that were pinned above the brown curls, while the other hand was waving above the boys head holding a razor blade almost taunting him. His body was clothe-less along with the distraught boy underneath him.

Josh’s finger tips began to turn white as he put all his pressure down adding details before his hand rushed over the guys face and scribbled it out with dark strokes. 

Josh slightly shook his head after realizing he finished the picture. 

He looked down at what was once a beautiful portrait of a nude, innocent looking boy with tawny, chocolate curls and plump lips, that was now a disgusting scene of false pleasure.

Josh gently closed his book and placed it underneath his pillow before turning to look at the clock that now read 8:55. 

People would soon be returning to their rooms so Josh figured it would be an appropriate time to close his eyes and sleep.

~ ~ ~ ~

Josh didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he awoke in the unfamiliar darkness of his new room. 

Josh exhaled before he heard what had woken him up.

In a loud whine Josh heard Tyler’s voice from across the hall. It sounded small and helpless.

He began to panic remembering the black haired boy, Brendon, and his drawing flashed in mind. 

But soon the voice became louder and clearer. 

"Just stop! Please!" 

Josh shot up from his bed ignoring just being in boxers. He began to walk to his door when he heard footsteps racing towards Tyler’s bedroom.

Josh stood lingering by his door watching Michelle in hair curlers and a nightgown, on a race down the hall towards Tyler’s bedroom.

She noticed Josh standing in his doorframe as she got to the boy’s bedroom and she turned around and gave his a sympathetic looking smile, "it's fine, Josh. You can go to bed. Tyler’s fine." 

Josh just nodded as he slowly backed up while still watching across the hall into his bedroom. 

"Get out!" A loud scream came from Tyler’s bedroom and Josh shivered at his blood curdling shout that sounded as if he was being murdered.

"Tyler, honey it's not real remember! It's okay. Your okay. He isn't here." Josh listened to Michelle’s calm soothing voice. He imagined her rocking him back and forth while petting his head like a baby. 

He heard a chocked out sob along with Michelle soothingly "shushing" the boy.

"He was here again. In my head." Tyler chocked out, “well he’s always here, but he was so loud.”

"Oh I'm so sorry honey. Your alright. Your with me. That voice isn't real." 

"But it is real! He is always here! He is in my head, Michelle! He sees everything!" Tyler's voice sobbed.

"Honey, what do you mean? Your safe. He isn't here."

Tyler just exhaled while curtly nodding his head. No one would ever understand, so might as well play along.

"I know honey, I know your hurting. But your safe. And I'm working so hard to get you out of the visits sweetie. I'm going to get you away from that man if it's the last thing I do." Michells confided in a confident voice, bringing up Tyler’s constant worry. She wasn’t talking about the voices in Tyler’s head. She never understood that. She was bringing up the supposed ‘real’ demon in Tyler’s life, that Michelle thought he was talking about when he screamed that ‘Blurry was clawing at his mind’.

"I just-" Tyler's voice broke, "I don't know how much longer I can take this Michelle. I feel so hopeless. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this meaningless life. I just feel so empty. Like this will never end." 

"Shhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh. It's going to get better. It may not feel like it right now but your going to be just fine. You will find your happiness." 

"I want to die, Michelle." Tyler said just above a whisper.

"Honey, Honey, shhh. Stop, don't say that." Josh heard Michelle's voice beginning to break.

"I just don't know how else to get away from him. He is always in my mind. When I'm eating I hear him criticizing every calorie I swallow. When I'm getting dressed I hear him say disgusting things about my body. I just want it to end Michelle. I just want it to stop." 

"Tyler, honey I don't know what to say besides it will get better but I know that is always what you hear. Maybe we could up your dose of vivactil." 

"Michelle, I'm sick of these drugs! They make me feel like a vegetable! I want to feel, I just don't want to feel all this." 

Michelle was quiet.

"I'm afraid of these feelings inside of me. They never sleep. They make me feel like my insides are melting and that my brain is just consumed with darkness. Some days the only thing I can think of is how much I want to die. It scares me." 

Josh heard a loud sob that didn't sound like Tyler's and he noticed his pillow was damp from his tears he hadn't noticed he’d been shedding.

"Michelle, please don't cry. I love you. Sometimes I feel your the only one keeping me alive." 

He heard more loud sobs with incoherent mumbling. 

"Don't worry Michelle. I'll try. I'm really trying. But I just really don't know how much longer I can keep trying after failing, time and time again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Comments will most likely make the next chapter come out sooner so it would greatly be appreciated whether it's saying you like the story or how much you hate my guts :) I'm also totally up for answering any questions or clearing up confusion, SO ASK AWAY.


	2. Better To Burn Then Fade Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the kudos on the last chapter! I hope you are liking it so far :) Today was my last day of winter break and instead of wisely doing my homework like most, I wrote this. Your welcome, I'm putting this before my grades :)
> 
> TW- Mentions of self harm/suicidal thoughts

Josh’s eyes slowly opened as he adjusted to the strange way light pooled onto his bed. It was different. And different was odd. 

For a moment he forgot where he was as he glanced around the blank walls with a single crack running across the ceiling. He was used to waking up to his covered walls, filled with endless photos of bands, skateboarding, weed, and everything else you could imagine.

Josh was used to waking to either an empty home or loud snoring from whatever man that was in his mom's bed. But now he was laying on an uncomfortable thin mattress- and yes- that definitely was a spring poking him in the back. 

Josh slightly shifted as a light singing voice came into focus. It wasn't exactly singing, more so mumbling words in a hum. It was peaceful and made him feel serene which was unusual. 

He began to slide off his bed, not bothering to get changed as his warm body hit the perfect, semi-cool April air. Josh had a nice body. He wasn't scary muscular but he wasn't scrawny either. His arms were defined from drumming and his stomach was lightly sculpted but no where near close to a 6-pack. 

Josh shuffled his feet on the wood laminate flooring, as he approached the door arch. He rested against his open door as he heard the voice slightly louder, but the noise itself was no where near loud or intended to be heard. 

He walked directly across the hall and slowly peaked into the room that belonged to the ever mysterious Tyler, and there he was; sitting with his legs crossed and back bent over a journal sitting in his lap. 

Josh slowly walked in, not wanting to scare the focused boy. His eyes didn't leave the page as his voice kept lightly humming, and once in a while he would mumble out a few words that Josh couldn't make out. 

"Hey," he lightly whispered.

Tyler quickly shut his book and looked up. His eyes were bloodshot, showing he clearly had no sleep. But Josh slightly startled as he noticed 3 red lines under each of the boy’s large Bambi eyes. 

"Are you okay?" Josh kept his voice low and quiet as he stood in front of the fragile looking teenager.

Tyler rolled his eyes before slightly rubbing them, "yeah, I'm fine," he stood up with his journal in his hand, slightly wobbling. 

Josh thought back to last night as he heard a different side of him. He seemed so sad. So vulnerable. And lost, very lost. 

"I'm sorry about yesterday," Josh started, wanting possibly his only -sort of- friend here to forgive him, "the thing in the cafeteria? I'm- I'm just really sorry I don't want you to be mad or seem like I was, like, judging you or-"

"It's cool." Tyler interrupted numbly as he opened his underwear drawer and tucked the book under boxer briefs and socks. Josh wondered why he wanted to hide it. 

“Um, okay. Cool," Josh said, lost at what else to say. He didn't think he should bring up the night. Tyler would probably get mad. 

As the boy turned around, Josh could see tears running down his injured cheeks. It almost looked like scratch marks and he became curious but wouldn't dare say anything yet. 

Tyler walked to his bed and kneeled, pulling a small purple suitcase from underneath. 

"Where are you going?" Josh asked, concerned and scared he was leaving.

"My dad's." Tyler started but choked at the end. He scrunched up his face, letting tears drop before quickly wiping them away. 

"Lucky! Your getting out? Why are you sad?!" Josh questioned upset. 

Tyler shook his head before angrily looking at him, "don't ever call me fucking lucky again. I go every other weekend." Tyler ripped 2 plain sweaters from his closet and a pair of jeans before aggressively throwing them in his suitcase followed by underwear and socks before he slammed the top shut and angrily zipped it up. He kicked the suitcase as hard as he could before sitting on the ground and crying loudly this time. 

Josh quickly sat next to him confused, but hugged the younger boy, unaware of why he was so upset. He hugged Josh back hard as he felt his shirt become damp from the small boy’s tears. He pulled back to look at Tyler and scrunched up his face when he noticed one of his hands scratching at his already damaged eye. He noticed dried blood under his nail beds and put 2 and 2 together. 

"Why are you doing that to yourself? It will cause a scar," Josh worried as he pulled his hand away and simply held it. 

Tyler looked away from him, not letting him see the fresh blood on his cheek from scratching the scab. Tyler pushed him away and stood up from the ground before laying face first on his bed. Josh began to hear more cries being muffled from his pillow. 

Michelle then came in and looked first at Tyler crying on his bed, to Josh shirtless.

"What did you do?!" Michelle started, instantly defending the skinny boy. 

Josh instinctively raised his hands, "I didn't do anything!" 

Michelle slightly nodded her head and patted Josh on the shoulder before slowly making her way to the crying boy.

"I'm sorry honey. I know you don't want to go." 

Josh slowly walked out of the room while keeping his head in to see what happens.

Tyler shook his head and pushed himself away from Michelle while wiping his tears away. 

"Tyler, don't do that. Honey, talk to me." 

"Fuck off Michele, now is not the time." Tyler cut angrily as he paced back and forth with his hands in his curly brown hair. 

"Language." Michele warned.

"Oh for fucks sake!" Tyler yelled as he dropped his arms besides his body before looking down and speeding out of the room, bumping into Josh. He looked up to see who he ran into before scrunching his eyes closed, letting frustrated tears drop. His frail arms pushed the bigger boy as hard as he could making Josh step back, letting him get past and rush down the hall. 

Now, kids stood with their heads peaking out of their doors, seeing what the commotion was about. When they saw Tyler speeding down the hall they rolled their eyes and steeped back in their rooms, like it was a frequent occurrence. 

This made Josh wonder more about the strange boy. 

"Joshua, please just avoid Tyler for a little while. We really don't want boys in here messing with him at this fragile state." Michelle said quietly.

"Mess with him? I was just seeing what was wrong." Josh asked confused.

“Okay, it’s just that he is very self destructive, and when he is feeling that way he looks to attractive boy’s to help, if you understand what I’m putting down. I just don’t want you to be getting involved or possibly taking advantage of him in this state right now.” Michelle said careful and quietly as of not to allow anyone else down the halls to hear.

“Take advantage?! I was just seeing what he was doing and was gonna apologize for something.” Josh defended crossing his arms over his bare chest. 

“Okay, I’m not pointing fingers. I’m just warning. Please be careful with him.” 

“You act like he’s some fragile doll who’s gonna break any second!” Josh breathed exasperated.

Michelle just gave him a look with pressed lips before leaving the room.

Weird. 

Josh was even more curious. 

He walked back to his room and threw on a t shirt, looking at the clock that read 7:53. Damn. Josh patted himself on the back, he had never willed himself to wake up this early, even on school days. And today was a Saturday. This had never happened in Josh Dun’s existence where he felt ready to start the day. Maybe this place would be good for him after all. 

He smiled to himself before being interrupted with a blood curdling scream.

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!” The voice boomed and Josh’s heart dropped. It was Tyler.

He rushed out of his bedroom in search of the boy. Other teens were rubbing their eyes and looking down the hall before getting the same idea as Josh, and began walking to search for their entertainment of the day.

He walked through winding halls he didn’t recognize yet until he caught up to a pair. He slowed so he was walking behind them, over hearing their conversation when Tyler’s name came out of their mouth.

“Tyler’s at it again. I wonder what the fuck he’s into now.” The boy with red hair said as he turned to a the guy walking next to him. 

“He’s probably been caught trying to steal a knife again. Fucker should know he’s never gonna get away with it.” The guy with greasy black hair responded as more screams sounded in the background. 

Josh followed the two as they entered the dining area where a guard was handling Tyler rather roughly. His arms were twisted behind his back and his head was being pushed onto a table.

“I swear if you don’t get the fuck off me I’m gonna fucking rip your head off!” Tyler screamed.

The man remained unexpressive as Michelle rushed into the dining room along with one other worker Josh hadn’t met.

“Tyler, what’s going on here?” Michelle asked kneeling to his level as his cheek was pressed into the table.

“Ma’am, he was caught trying to steal a butcher knife from the kitchen. He broke off the lock from the drawer. We caught him before he harmed himself or anyone else.” The security man answered for Tyler.

“Please, please just get off me.” Tyler said, sadness and helplessness clear in his voice as his eyes began to glaze over.

“Tyler why did you do this?” Michelle asked.

“Please get him off me.” Tyler spoke as the man kept him pressed bent over on the table.

“Tyler what were you planning to do with the knife?” Michelle ignored him again.

“Michelle please get him off me.” Tyler was crying now. His eyes looked panicked as his body rose and fell from hyperventilating.

“Get off him, Mike” Michelle said quietly. 

“But-“ he tried to protest as Tyler’s breathing became faster and laboured as he began trying to pull his arms out of the grip.

“Get off me!” Tyler was screaming again as he tried to squirm out of the grip. 

“Tyler we can’t let you go until you calm down!” Michelle spoke above his screaming and crying.

He slowed as quiet whimpers were heard before the security got off of him, instead holding his forearms so he wouldn’t be able to run or grab anything.

Tyler looked around the room noticing everyone was surrounded, watching him and he looked at his feet out of embarrassment.

“Tyler, why did you do this.” Michelle repeated. 

Tyler shook his head, “you should punish me.” 

“Believe me you will be punished once you get back from your weekend visit, Tyler.” 

Now he was going ballistic. Josh had never seen anyone turn so red or scream so loud. “You fucking slut! Get your fucking hands off me you fat fuck! And I hope all of you rot in hell!” Tyler screamed, this time at the others that were standing around watching. Michelle looked at the boy with hurt before she shook her head, “take him to the padded room. He can sit in there until his dad comes to pick him up.” 

The security nodded as he began walking behind Tyler, directing him as he held his arms behind him back.

Tyler was sobbing again as he seemed to lose function in his legs. His knees dropped to the floor and the guard had to hoist him up and drag the unstable boy out of the dining room.

Everyone stood quietly before the guy from the hall with the greasy black hair shook his head, “fucking psycho.” He laughed and everyone else began to laugh as well. Everyone besides Josh. He felt sick to his stomach. 

A worker who still appeared to be in his emo phase tried to shush them as he gave them an angry look.

“Go back to fucking the shrink!” Someone yelled at the worker and he got a fiery look on his face. 

“All right quiet down! You all know Tyler is... sensitive so it’s a real mean thing for you guys to be watching him while he’s having an episode.” He scolded as his hand moved his right bang over a bit.

“Sensitive is a word for it.” Someone mumbled out and people once again laughed.

“More like fucking insane!” The boy with red hair laughed out.

“Gerard, we do NOT use those type of words here! This is a safe place!” The man scolded once again.

“Yeah, well it doesn’t seem real safe when psychos can get a hold on fucking butcher knives, Pete!” This Gerard guy yelled back and all the other boys standing chorused ‘Yeah!’. Josh stood back confused at why everyone was seemingly afraid of this boy. 

“I think he is really misunderstood,” Josh finally voiced, “I feel bad for the guy.” He tried to sound as manly and un-gay as he could to all the other intimidating looking boys. 

“Pft okay newbie! We’ll see what you think when you’ve been here for more then a day. He’s just creepy! All he does is write cryptic shit all in his notebook and blow Brendon for razors!” The black haired boy said as he stood next to Gerard. Everyone went silent and nudged the guy as if he said something he shouldn’t have. 

“What, Frank?” Pete asked as he crossed his arms.

“Oh you fucking idiot.” Gerard mumbled under his breath.

“Huh?” Frank played dumb.

“What did you say about Brendon?” Pete questioned.

“Nothing you must’ve heard a breeze or something.” All the boy’s besides Josh laughed at that. 

“BREAKFAST!” Latrice the cook’s voice boomed as she lifted a metal blind, opening up the kitchen and half wall where your grab your food. She rang a little bell and smiled as she noticed all the boy’s already in the dining space.

“Oh your all eager for pancakes I see!” Latrice’s voice cackled as she smiled so wide at the boys. It was clear everyone loved her as they smiled back kindly at the large lady.

Pete shook his head and made a hand movement as if saying ‘I’m watching you’ to the boys, before walking out of the room as a different worker walked in to watch over the breakfast shift. 

The girls walked in tired looking. Some still in their pyjamas while some in revealing tank tops and shorts despite it being April in Ohio.

Josh sighed and walked up to the kitchen, grabbing a plate of pancakes and strawberries before sitting alone in the corner, just wondering how Tyler was doing.

_ _ _ _ _

He finished his plate of food in silence despite, overhearing all the boy’s telling the girls about Tyler’s meltdown. He couldn’t help but feel anger build in his gut at them all laughing at Tyler’s mental health. He picked up his empty plate and brought it to the dirty dishes bucket before dropping it in. 

Josh walked out of the dining room not sure where to go. He seemed to be one of the only people out and he found himself in the front lobby. He huffed and sat in a chair, trying to pass the time and hopping to see Tyler before he gets picked up.

He was probably sitting for a half an hour losing track of time, before a puffy eyed Tyler came walking in with Michelle trailing behind him. 

He slumped into a chair, a few down from Josh and rested his head onto his hand, looking tired.

“Where’s your suitcase, Tyler?” Michelle asked quietly.

“In my room.” He mumbled back.

He watched as Michelle picked up her walkie talkie, “hi, can I have someone down to the lobby to watch Tyler as I grab his suitcase?”

He watched as Tyler lightly snorted at that.

“Michelle we are understaffed, we don’t have an extra to come and watch him.” Josh heard a static voice come through. Michelle sighed at that.

“It’s fine. I’m just gonna be here.” He looked so out of it and sluggish, Josh felt his heart break.

“Tyler-“ Michelle started but Josh interrupted, “it’s fine I can watch him and make sure he doesn’t go anywhere.”

Michelle pressed her lips together before nodding, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Josh stood up and sat in the chair next to Tyler.

“Are you alright?” Josh asked as Tyler’s hand fell, making his head slump forward. 

“I’m on so much drugs right now that I don’t even know the answer to that.” He mumbled as he moved his head to rest on Josh’s shoulder. 

“Drugs? Did they give them to you?” Josh asked trying to keep his voice steady. That was hard when Tyler’s head was resting on him, and he could feel his heart trying to burst out of his body. 

“Sedatives. They always give them to me when I’m psycho.” He drawled. Josh could feel his shirt get wet from drool but he honestly couldn’t care.

“Why did you try to take that knife?” Josh asked sweeping one of Tyler’s curls behind his ear. Tyler let out a sigh. No a fucking purr at that, and made a whine when Josh pulled his hand away out of shock. He placed his hand back on the boy’s head and continued to play with his fluffy hair.

“I was gonna kill myself.” Tyler said casually.

“Why?” Josh responded just as casual.

“The voice told me to. And I really didn’t want to live long enough to go to my dad’s again.” His voice mumbled before finally looking up at Josh. 

Josh simply nodded and looked down at the boy laying on his shoulder. He was similar to a puppy that was just kicked. So adorable but sad. So, so sad. 

“You aren’t like the other people here.” Tyler said still looking at him.

“How so?”

“You don’t think I’m crazy.” Tyler sighed.

“You aren’t crazy.” Josh said looking back at him.

“I am,” Tyler laughed before looking at the ground, “I’m not right in the head.” 

“How so?” Josh asked once again.

“I have a voice in my head. He’s dark and scary and I can see him when I really focus. Nobody understands though. They think I have ptsd and it’s just cause of that, but it’s not. I know it. You know what’s the craziest part?”

“What?”

“It’s me. The voice is me.” Josh looked curiously at the boy. “You know how I said I can see him? It’s me. Me with red eyes and these black hands and neck. When I look in the mirror he is behind me, ready to strangle me. I think I will let him soon.” Tyler sighed.

“Please don’t let him.” Josh said quietly.

“Who knows, maybe if I really wanna die I’ll let him. I’d much rather do it myself though. I wanna see my blood roll out of my arms, watch every little drop of life leave cause of my own doing. Not some weird ‘figment of my imagination’ as the shrink calls it just strangle me. That’s pretty boring. I wanna go out with a bang.” Tyler smiled.

“Out with a bang?” Josh repeated liking how it sounded out of the boy’s mouth.

“Yeah, you know something all these miserable people here won’t be able to forget. You know what they wouldn’t forget? My body lying on the ground in all its bloody glory.” Tyler seemed to be out of his daze as he spoke with such enthusiasm and Josh couldn’t help but laugh along. 

“Y’know Tyler, maybe you are crazy.” Josh laughed and Tyler just smiled back before looking down at his hands. Josh could have swore he saw a blush but he figured he was just imagine it.

“Josh, if I return tomorrow night we should like hang out or something.” Tyler said quietly with a nervous voice.

“What do you mean _if _?” Josh asked.__

__Tyler nervously twiddled his fingers, “I-I just, you never know what the future holds.” Tyler decided after seeming lost for words. “Please just tell me yes or no if you would like to hang out.” He mumbled again finally looking up at Josh, his eyes were glazed over like he was about to cry._ _

__“I would like to. I would really like to.” Josh responded._ _

__Tyler nodded and there was that smile again as he looked back down at his hands. Just then, Michelle re entered the lobby with Tyler’s suitcase and placed it in front of the boy._ _

__“He said he would come at 10. It’s 9:40.” Michelle said before taking a seat behind the check in desk._ _

__Tyler nodded and began tapping his foot nervously as his hands shook and twitched._ _

__“Are you alright?” Josh asked quietly so Michelle wouldn’t hear, grabbing Tyler’s hand and holding it._ _

__Tyler looked at him with tears coming down his scratched cheeks._ _

__“What’s wrong?” Josh rubbed the back of his hand._ _

__“I don’t want to go.” Tyler mumbled as he shook his head._ _

__“I don’t want you to go either.” Josh said back before he could think. Tyler smiled at that, causing more tears to fall when his dimples made his eyes scrunch up. Josh smiled back wide, making his eyes go squinty._ _

__“I like your smile,” Tyler said._ _

__“I like your face.” There was that talking before thinking again and Josh’s face turned red, not believing he just said that._ _

__“Thanks,” Tyler said quietly before blushing and turning away._ _

__A beep from the desk Michelle was sitting at startled them. Michelle talked into a speaker, “state your name and reason your here.”_ _

__“Jason Joseph, I’m here to pick up Tyler Joseph.” Josh could hear the static voice come through the radio._ _

__Tyler instantly tensed and quickly pulled his hand out of Josh’s._ _

__“Okay I’ll let you in.” Michelle spoke back before a sound of the door unlocking was made._ _

__Soon, the door was opened letting in a tall man in a suit. He lifted off his designer sunglasses that made him look every bit of a douchebag._ _

__Now Tyler was a trembling mess. Tyler wasn’t overly tall in the first place but he looked so unbelievably small, looking up and almost shaking._ _

__“Hey sport.” He smiled a million dollar smile of white teeth and healthy gums._ _

__“Hi.” Tyler whispered back._ _

__“Is that the way you greet your old man after not seeing him for 2 weeks?” He asked with a fake laugh._ _

__Tyler slowly got up and gave his dad a hug. You could tell it pained him as his father slid his hands up and down Tyler’s waist before resting on his lower back and pulling away from the hug._ _

__“What happened to your face?” He asked concerning his scratch marks._ _

__Tyler just shrugged his shoulders and Jason held his face, making the boy look up at him, “don’t mess up your face again, Tyler.” He said sternly before Tyler pushed his hand away and looked at the ground._ _

__“I missed you son.” He smiled and Josh didn’t understand why Tyler was so against going home._ _

__Jason Joseph looked like the typical suburban dad who made loads of money and would still make it home to play catch with his son._ _

__Tyler mumbled back a “mhm.” Before looking back at Josh almost longingly._ _

__“Who’s this?” Jason asked looking down at Josh after noticing Tyler staring at him._ _

__“Just a friend.” Tyler mumbled before turning away from Josh and looking at the ground._ _

__Jason raised his eyebrows before slowly nodding, not looking convinced before turning towards Michelle._ _

__“Okay! Where’s the sign out sheet.” Jason said with that white smile again as his hand still rested on Tyler’s lower back._ _

__Michelle slid a clipboard over the desk with a pen for him to sign. Jason instead grabbed his own pen from his suit’s breast pocket and signing it before playfully swatting Tyler on the butt, “alright squirt let’s get out of here.” Jason lead the tiny 16 year old out of the building with a hand on his back._ _

__Once they got through the doors, Tyler looked back once more through the glass door at Josh and gave a sad smile before turning back around._ _

__Josh stood and made his way back to his room. He miraculously remembered where it was despite only going to it twice. Once he got to it, he was confused as he saw 2 men wearing gloves, tearing Tyler’s room apart. Josh walked into the frame noticing one of the guys was the worker from before, Pete he believed his name was._ _

__“I know there is something in here.” He said to the other man, not noticing Josh standing in the doorway._ _

__They lifted the mattress and felt along the seams before opening his drawers and looking through._ _

__“Found it!” The other man said victoriously._ _

__Pete grabbed a plastic bag and the other man carefully dropped numerous razors into it._ _

__Josh just stood and shook his head. Tyler was going to flip once he got back._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment thoughts, predictions, or questions. PLEASE IM LONELY


	3. Fix me or Conflict me; I'll take Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for taking so long to update. Im super swamped with schoolwork cause exams are next week oof I'm screwed. Sorry this isn't as long as usual, i just really wanted to get something out. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> TW- mentions of suicide and self harm

Josh sighed as he woke up on Sunday morning. He had his therapy session today with the shrink, Dr. Stump, and he was dreading it. 

On the brightside, Tyler was coming back today and Josh couldn’t be more excited. Yesterday was lonely as he walked the halls, watching others get along, laughing and joking together. 

He didn’t fit in here. He was quiet while others were all action. Josh had nearly got into 2 fights yesterday over looking at someone wrong as they claimed. Whatever that meant. 

Michelle walked into his room, knocking on the frame before stepping inside. “Hey, you have your appointment in 10.” She said before leaving.

Josh sighed and got out of bed, sliding on a shirt. He missed breakfast call but he didn’t care. He didn’t like eating alone in the dining room.

He closed the bedroom door before taking off his pants and putting on boxers and jeans. 

He opened the door and stepped out, making his way towards Dr. Stump’s office. It was connected to the lobby, down the hall a bit. Despite most of the place looking like it was from the 80’s, Patrick’s office was the exception. His door was a white oak with a frosted mirror. Josh knocked on the door and heard Dr Stump cough before saying “come in.”

Josh stepped inside being greeted with a blushing Psych and Pete sitting in the chair across smirking.

“I’ll talk to you later,” Pete said lowly before leaving the office.

The room was a modern icy blue, with white leather chairs and plenty of plants.

“Hi Josh.” Patrick greeted before motioning to the 2 large chairs that faced each other as he stood up and sat in the one. Josh sat in the other.

“So how are you adjusting?” Dr stump asked while holding a clipboard.

“Alright.” Josh mumbled back.

“I heard you aren’t really talking with the others besides Tyler.” 

Josh squinted his eyes wondering how this stuff got around to him, considering he hadn’t even hung out with Tyler besides that first day when they sat together outside. “Well no offence but everyone here are kind of assholes.” 

“How so?” Patrick asked.

“They are just disrespectful. They don’t respect people’s privacy.”

“Have they breached your privacy?” He asked back. God Josh hated therapists. They answered everything with a fucking question.

“Well no, but I see how they treat people here.” Josh mumbled.

“You’re talking about Tyler aren’t you?” Dr Stump clarified.

“Well I guess.”

“Why do you think Tyler is getting treated this way?”

“I don’t know I guess cause he’s different. Why are we talking about Tyler? What does he have to do with this? Why not we talk about you and Pete, huh? Something is clearly going on there, he was probably sucking you off before I came in here.” Josh’s voice raised, starting to get aggravated.

“I’m just trying to scope why you are so interested in this boy. We can talk about something different if you want.” Patrick ignored the last statement.

“I’m not interested!” Josh shot back. He knew that was a lie though.

“Okay. How was growing up?”

Josh let out a loud groan, “great. Everything was fucking dandy until my dad fucking topped himself.” 

“You sound aggressive. Why?” 

“Are you serious? Are you expecting me to be calm when I walked in on my dad fucking hanging?! Do you know how much that messed everything up? Do you know how much that messed mom up? Do you know how much it messed _me _up?!”__

__“Do you know why he did it?” The doctor asked back. Josh wanted to rip his head off at his dull, calm tone._ _

__“Do you think I care? Will it change anything?” Josh shouted back. He felt angry tears start to build up and he shook his head and bit at his nails, trying to not let it drop._ _

__“I’m sure it was hard on your mom.” He started to sound almost sympathetic now._ _

__“Fuck her.” Josh whispered as he quickly swept a tear that dropped._ _

__“Where is this hatred for your mom coming from?”_ _

__“Cause she’s a bitch. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her.”_ _

__“And why are you here?”_ _

__God Josh really wanted to gouge our his own eyes. He was tired of this intrusion. “I’m here because my mom can’t even take care of herself anymore, let alone me. Can we talk about something else for fucks sake!”_ _

__“You’re almost 18. You know that you can’t stay here once you’re an adult. Do you know what your plans are if you aren’t out before then?”_ _

__“I don’t know.” Josh mumbled. God he wanted to leave really badly._ _

__“Have you thought about college?”_ _

__“Can I leave now?” Josh cut._ _

__Dr Stump sighed before nodding his head. “I’ll see you next week.”_ _

__Josh stormed out of the office and back to his room. He just wanted to sleep until Tyler got back._ _

__— — — —_ _

__Josh woke to his stomach growling. He hadn’t ate anything yet today and he was surprised no one from the staff had lectured him yet. They were probably too caught up with the people with actual problems, then to worry about one irrelevant guy, Josh told himself as he checked the time. It was 3. He had slept about 4 hours and Josh mentally slapped himself. There would be no way he could sleep normally tonight now._ _

__Josh decided to walk to the lobby in a bid for food. He knew there was always fruit in a basket on the check in table._ _

__He pulled himself out of bed and threw back on his shirt that was lying on the ground before continuing to walk out the door._ _

__As he walked down the hall he stopped when he heard loud hitting against the wall and quiet whimpers._ _

__“Shut the fuck up, someone’s gonna hear.” Josh heard a familiar voice say through clench teeth followed with another low moan._ _

__Josh turned red upon realizing what was going on and began to curse himself as he felt something growing. Shit he hadn’t been laid in too long. He tried to focus on the voice, trying to figure out who it was but he couldn’t place the voice to a face._ _

__More quiet whimpers and deep grunts were sounded before one loud moan and a “fuck Frank, harder!” Make Josh almost weak at the knees. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. That was definitely Gerard’s voice._ _

__He had heard enough so he sped past the room, the only closed door down the hall, trying to not make any noise. He finally let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when Josh finally entered the lobby._ _

__He let out a small laugh of disbelief as he grabbed an apple from the countertop. Michelle looked up at him from behind the desk with a motherly look, “did you not get breakfast?”_ _

__“Nah, I missed it.”_ _

__She shook her head out of disapproval before a beep was heard from the radio._ _

__“State your name, and reason of visit.” She stated automatically into the radio._ _

__Josh bit his apple, just standing around out of lack of anything else to do._ _

__“Jason Joseph, here to take back Tyler Joseph.” A static voice responded back. Josh instantly perked up._ _

__Michelle clicked a button, allowing the doors to unlock before Jason and Tyler walked in._ _

__Jason had his normal smile on and Tyler just looked so incredibly tired in his oversized sweater. He rubbed his eyes as he instantly began to walk away from his dad, not even looking up or noticing Josh was even there._ _

__“Um Tyler, I think you forgot something!” Jason beckoned with a laugh as he held out his arms as if asking for a hug._ _

__“No I didn’t.” Tyler mumbled back dragging his suitcase behind him keeping his eyes down._ _

__Jason dropped his arms to his side and his face cracked for a second showing pure boiling anger before in a snap he was back to his smiling face, rolling his eyes, “teenagers.” Jason said to Michelle, shaking his head with a laugh._ _

__Josh looked back at Tyler and began to chase after him._ _

__“Hey,” Josh greeted when he caught up to him._ _

__Tyler looked up with his large brown orbs before slightly smiling before looking back down, “hi, Josh”_ _

__“You look tired.” Josh commented with a slight laugh as they walked down the hall. He noticed Gerard and Frank were no longer in the room._ _

__“I am. I always am after weekend visits.” Tyler sighed as they approached their rooms. Josh followed Tyler into his room, sitting on his bed while Tyler threw his suitcase on the ground and kicked it under the bed._ _

__Tyler pulled off his over sized sweater and in turn put a different one on. Josh was confused at what the point was but he was taken aback at the boy’s torso. It was lined with fresh and new scars, one after the other, running down like lines writing paper._ _

__“Don’t say anything about it.” Tyler rolled his eyes before walking to his desk, “oh how I missed you.” He said adorably as he picked up his little ukulele and cradled it like the most fragile baby._ _

__“Play me something?” Josh asked as Tyler sat next to him._ _

__Tyler smiled before nodding his head he let out a tiny giggle before starting to strum out a few chords and Josh swore now- this was the most adorable thing he had ever seen._ _

_____“Why do you build me up Buttercup, baby_  
_Just to let me down and mess me around ___  
_And then worst of all you never call, baby ___  
_When you say you will but I love you still ___  
_I need you more than anyone, darlin' ___  
_You know that I have from the start ___  
_So build me up Buttercup, don't break my heart __.”_

____Tyler finished his last chord and looked at his feet and this had probably went down in Josh’s book of favourite moments and he couldn’t help but feel the overwhelming admiration for this boy.____

____

____

__

__

__

__

__

__

____“Thank you.” Was all Josh could voice before his lips were looking for Tyler’s pink ones. Tyler let out an adorable squeak as they met before he sighed into it._ _ _ _

____Josh slowly pulled away, not particularly wanting to, and Tyler looked at him with wide eyes and rosey, blushed cheeks._ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry,” Josh started and Tyler broke him off with the shake of his head, “it was nice.” Tyler said shyly before looking down at his fumbling hands._ _ _ _

____That’s when Josh noticed his wrists, his oversized sleeve was slightly crumpled up, showing fresh bandages wrapped around with slight red bleeding through._ _ _ _

____“Are you alright?” Josh said, gently holding his hand and turning it over._ _ _ _

____Tyler slightly nodded as he looked anywhere but Josh’s warm chestnut eyes, but didn’t pull away._ _ _ _

____“Was it something to do with your weekend visit?” Josh asked quietly, holding the boy closer._ _ _ _

____Tyler rolled his eyes before pulling his hand away. “It’s always my fucking weekend visit. Everything that’s wrong with me is because of it.” Tyler mumbled bitterly as he put his face in his hands, quickly wiping his eyes._ _ _ _

____He wouldn’t cry, Tyler told himself. He cried over his father enough, and he wasn’t about to bring to show how messed up he really was, to the one light he had._ _ _ _

____“You can tell me you know.” Josh pushed, scooting closer to Tyler on the bed._ _ _ _

____“There’s nothing to tell.” Tyler said before lifting his head up, and pulling Josh’s face to his._ _ _ _

____Josh was officially shut up, as the boy pulled himself into Josh’s lap. Their kiss was slow and languid but with a fire growing in the pits of their stomach._ _ _ _

____Tyler wrapped his thighs around Josh’s torso as he slowly began to move his hips, making a low groan come out of Josh’s kiss swollen lips into the smaller boy’s mouth. Tyler hummed back as he slowly picked up speed, combing his fingers through Josh’s bleach burned, blue hair._ _ _ _

____“Ew get a room fags,” Frank’s voice shot from the hall._ _ _ _

____“We are in a room, fuck off.” Tyler shot back, not even bothering to look at him._ _ _ _

____“You fags are gonna make me throw up, at least shut the door for eyes that don’t wanna see two freaks getting off.”_ _ _ _

____“Why not you go fuck Gerard?” Josh shot back cause shit, he was currently horny and had a beautiful boy on his lap and the only thing standing between them was Frank in the hall._ _ _ _

____Josh watched as Tyler’s mouth dropped open and looked back at Frank’s mortified face. Oh. So this wasn’t a known thing? Oops._ _ _ _

____“W-why not you go get an std from that psychopath.” Frank mumbled back before speed walking away._ _ _ _

____“Are you serious?!” Tyler asked in a laugh._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, I walked past a room and they were fucking.” Josh asked before clinging his lips back on Tyler’s before he could respond._ _ _ _

____2 lips became one as they worked together in a melody. Well as much of a melody as 2 people can make. More so a good sounding band of 2 people._ _ _ _

____Low groans from Josh, and high pitched squeaks from Tyler filled the quiet air before Tyler pulled away to work at Josh’s neck._ _ _ _

____He bit and sucked at the sensitive flesh and Josh dig his fingers into Tyler’s sides._ _ _ _

____“Mm baby, don’t stop.” Josh panted out. Fuck he was so turned on, but just as he thought they were getting started, Tyler pulled away like he just touched a hot stove._ _ _ _

____He jumped off Josh’s lap and turned away pulling at his hair._ _ _ _

____“Ty?” Josh asked in confusion._ _ _ _

____“Dont- don’t ever fucking call me that again.” Tyler’s voice cracked._ _ _ _

____“Ty?” Josh questioned, not understanding what he meant._ _ _ _

____“No, before. What you called me before! Don’t ever say that again!” He was crying now as he turned around to look at Josh, pointing his finger in accusation._ _ _ _

____“Okay, I’m sorry Tyler.” Josh commented genuinely as he held up his hands. Hard on, straining at his pants._ _ _ _

____Tyler put his head down as tears slowly dropped down his slopped nose, onto the ground._ _ _ _

____“Tyler, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did wrong.” Josh cooed._ _ _ _

____Tyler shook his head, “just please don’t call me that, I’m not- just don’t ever say that to me again.”_ _ _ _

____Josh nodded his head and mentally engraved the rule to never call Tyler ‘baby’ again and got up to hug Tyler._ _ _ _

____Tyler stood as stiff as a board for a second before melting into it, wrapping his arms around Josh’s neck and breaking down._ _ _ _

____“Shhh it’s okay, Ty.” Josh hummed as he rubbed the boy’s back._ _ _ _

____Tyler shook his head through his tears._ _ _ _

____“You don’t understand. I’m permanently fucked up, Josh. I’m never going to get out of here.”_ _ _ _

____“When your 18 you are forced out. The shrink was talking to me about it.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah and I will just be moved to a psych ward permanently. There’s no hope. I’m never getting out of all these eyes watching me.” Tyler kept his head in the crook of Josh’s neck, making his voice come out muffled._ _ _ _

____“You never know, Tyler.” Josh tried. He really did. But it’s hard to give hope to someone who has none to begin with._ _ _ _

____Tyler laughed at that. And now he was really laughing. Bent over at the waist, wheezing._ _ _ _

____“Tyler?” Josh asked confused before he got up and looked Josh in the eye._ _ _ _

____“Josh, are you really that stupid? The only way I will get out of some psych ward is if I kill myself, or do something very, very bad. I’d say both are likely if I get desperate enough.”_ _ _ _

____Josh just held Tyler after that. Wrapping the small boy in his arms because he didn’t know what else to do. Didn’t know what else he could say._ _ _ _

____Something in Josh’s gut felt cold. Something told him Tyler wasn’t joking. Something told him maybe there was no hope after all._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that was a pretty uneventful chapter but OH HONEY you got a big storm coming with next chapter ;) Make sure you check for updates cause I'm not sure when i'll get it up. Leave me comments cause I'm fucking lonely and stressed for my math exam :)


	4. You Touched Me and I Was A Lilac Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! Oh man, this chapter is a bittersweet ride. I hope you like it! And you should check out my other fic 'There are no raindrops on roses//It's sleeping with roaches' If your looking for a darker fic then this :') Also damn wish me luck my exams start on Thursday and I'm screwedddddd. whoops maybe I should focus more on school then a band that is more dead the MCR. 
> 
> TW- Fights, Self Harm scars, Mentions of rape

It was dinner and Josh thanked whatever god out there that he wouldn’t be sitting alone. Tyler and Josh walked through the halls making their way to the dining room. They both grabbed chicken noodle soup from the over-enthusiastic cook Latrice, before sitting in a corner away from the loud crowd.

They talked and laughed, Josh discovering Tyler was weird. Like very weird but in a funny way that made his eyes squint as he laughed hard. Tyler would slightly blush and look down in response before cracking another insane joke. 

Josh was laughing as a red haired boy came marching over, feet heavy on the linoleum. 

“What do you want, Gerard.” Tyler asked blankly as the boy sat next to Josh.

“Shut the fuck up psycho. Newbie, what the fuck did you see?” Gerard turned, addressing Josh about himself and Frank.

“Don’t call him that,” Josh defended, “it wasn’t so much as see, then hear.” Josh slightly laughed and Tyler smiled at him before giving Gerard a smug look.

“What, are you his new boyfriend?” Gerard questioned with disgust, “Newbie, if you tell anyone I’ll tell the entire home that your here cause you fucked your sister.”

“What if I was?” Josh challenged making Tyler slightly blush and look down, “and calm down dude. I get it, your a fag that is dealing with so much built up hate that you are just a straight up homophobe. But hey, deal with your problems your own way I guess.” 

“Okay listen up buddy, you don’t have any right telling me about myself so why not you go and fuck the freak!” Gerard slightly raised his voice as he pointed at Tyler who sat slightly uncomfortable as he stared at his hands under the table.

“Stop calling him that!” Josh yelled this time, standing out of his chair. Everyone suddenly went quiet as their attention was pulled towards the brewing argument.

“What, are you saying he isn’t a freak? Newbie, look at him! He is fucking insane! He tries to scratch his own eyes out and has cuts all over his stomach cause he’s run out of room on his legs! Now he’s moved on to his arms it looks like. Pathetic.” Gerard spat as he stood up before looking down at Tyler’s rolled up sleeve, showing his bandaged arm.

He quickly pulled down the sleeve and looked away as he whipped his eyes, not wanting to let the entire room see him cry.

“Leave. Him. Alone.” Josh punctuated each word with a push to the chest and he knew something was going to happen. He was basically asking for it at this point, but shit- Josh was going to defend this boy.

“Guys, lower your voices! Come on, knock it off, split up.” Pete, the supposed voice of reason spoke up as he walked over to the table everyone was watching.

Gerard was the first to swing, landing a hard punch to Josh’s stupid, already fucked up nose. He stumbled back with an ‘oof’ before placing his own punch to Gerard’s cheek, before kneeling him in the gut making him lean forward. Josh grabbed his head and punched him in the temple causing Gerard to angrily scream before grabbing Josh’s torso, still bent over at the waist and dragging him to the ground.

Everyone was cheering at this point along with Pete screaming for security.

Things began to get fuzzy as Gerard sat on Josh, pounding his fists into his face before a security guard was pulling red faced Gerard up and off of Josh.

“You fucking fagot! I hope you catch an STD from that dirty ass!” Gerard screamed as he was held by the security guard. 

“Shut up!” Was all Josh could think to scream back as his head throbbed.

“Do you know how many diseases the psycho has! Every time he comes back from his weekend visit, he’s walking funny for the next day! Knowing him, he probably lets guys fuck him without a condom, Watch out!” Gerard screamed as the security guard tried to call for help.

Tyler had been quiet so far, but after that, Josh heard an animalistic scream before Tyler was running to Gerard. Punch after punch to the face, left the red haired boy sputtering as the security guard tried to push Tyler away, proving to be hard to do while already holding Gerard.

“Stop fucking talking about that! You don’t know anything!” Tyler cried between his punches and kicks, using the boy practically as a human punching bag. 

Michelle and Pete ran in, Pete handing Michelle the first aid kit he had went and found before grabbing Tyler as he flailed, “Everyone, Frank is fucking Gerard!” Tyler screamed out of spite and everyone gasped and all eyes turned to the worried looking Frank.

The boy’s were pulled apart, Gerard slightly hanging limp as he looked up at Tyler, hatred in his eyes, “I’m gonna fucking ruin you, psycho. You are going to wish you were never born when I’m done with you.”

“I already do!” Tyler was crying now, as Gerard was helped out of the dinning room, probably to be brought to the nurse as his injuries seemed a lot more severe then Josh at this point.

“Okay everyone! Nothing to see! Go back to eating!” Michelle yelled at the others as they all mumbled and the talking picked back up.

Michelle shook her head angrily before looking down at Josh and asking if he could get up alright. Josh nodded his head and stood up.

“Alright, we can bring them to the office.” Michelle spoke to Pete as he nodded his head and pushed Tyler along. 

As they got to the office, they were put in the 2 plush chairs. The room was void of Dr. Patrick, probably getting off work earlier even though it was only around 6pm.

It was quiet as Michelle took in Josh’s face and Pete left the room.

“Sorry Michelle,” Tyler mumbled. 

She just shook her head as she swabbed away blood from Josh’s face. “Tyler, I know you say your trying but I’m not convinced. I’m not damn convinced! Every time I think your getting better you get into another fight or predicament!”

“Did you just say I’m not trying?” Tyler asked insulted, clearly hurt by the words. “If I wasn’t trying I would be 6 feet deep now!” Tyler screamed at the lady.

“Tyler, lower your voice. I didn’t mean it.” She said sounding upset.

“Yes you did! I thought you were one of the only people who believed in me! I was wrong! Man, I was so wrong.” Tyler shook his head before getting up and quickly leaving the office.

Michelle sighed sadly before continuing on Josh’s face.

“I told you not to get involved with him.” Michelle spoke quietly.

“It’s hard not to.” Josh frowned.

— — — — 

Tyler grabbed his pillow when he ran into his bedroom, shoving it to his face and screaming as hard as he could until his lungs screamed for him to stop.

He paced back and forth quickly before throwing the pillow at the wall, stepping to his wardrobe and pulling open a drawer. Lifting up his underwear he shook his head and began to panic. He opened up every drawer, tearing them apart looking for that little piece of metal that could put his mind to peace.

“Where the fuck is it?!” He whispered to himself. He shook his head, pulling his hair and yanking at his eyelids. 

He stared at the ceiling as he tried to think what could bring him quick relief. His pencils were taken away. His cd’s were taken away so he couldn’t break it into shards. He supposed he could use his pen but last time he was desperate and used it, things didn’t turn out too well. He ran out of his room heading for the lobby.

Tyler was quick as he made his way behind the counter. He opened the drawers sighing in relief when he found a paper clip. Right as he grabbed it the office door was opened and Michelle and Josh walked out. He froze, knowing he didn’t have enough time to not get caught.

“Tyler, what are you doing?” Michelle asked.

“I was looking for a pen.” Tyler lied and Michelle walked up to him.

“Show me what’s in your hands.”

Tyler screamed at himself in his mind and the voice in his head called him stupid and some far worse terms.

He held out his hands looking down as Michelle grabbed the paper clip from Tyler’s hand.

“Tyler, you need to stop. We found razors in your room.”

Tyler shook his head and turned around, grabbing Josh’s hand and dragging him along to his room.

“I fucking hate it here!” Tyler screamed as he got to his bedroom. He pushed Josh onto the bed and sat next to him. 

“Nobody fucking believes in me! And they wonder why I have no hope.” Tyler cried as he leaned his head on Josh’s shoulder.

Josh didn’t know much to say as he rubbed at Tyler’s back, “I don’t mean to sound cheesy or anything, but I really do think you could get out of here alright, Tyler.”

“I will never be alright. That’s the thing. Even if I do get out of here I will still be insane. Nothing is going to change that.”

“I’m sorry.” Josh offered. He wouldn’t tell Tyler something he knew he wouldn’t be able to believe.

“Thank you.” Tyler said above a whisper.

“For what?” Josh asked.

“For being here. For not judging me. I’m so fucking lonely. It seems like all I have in this place is this voice in my head. He tries to act like he’s my friend and cares, but aren’t friends supposed to be nice, Josh?” Tyler looked so unbelievably small as he looked at Josh like he had all the answers in the world.

“Tyler, he isn’t your friend. You can’t listen to the things he says. I’m your friend.” Josh said with certainty.

“Josh, are we just friends?” Tyler’s voice was small.

“Do you want to be more?” Josh asked.

He simply nodded as he looked at the ground, “I know we’ve only known each other for a bit, but I don’t know. I’ve never had anybody like you. I’ve never had anybody in general. Everyone seems to hate me. You’re the first person who’s nice to me.” 

“I’m sorry that it seems like that,” Josh frowned as he held the boy, “but I’m really glad that I’m the first. It’s memorable like that. I’ve never been anybodies first anything.” 

“So do you like me, Josh?” Tyler asked shyly.

“Of course I do, Tyler. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

Tyler smiled at that as he looked at Josh. Josh smiled back and felt his heart flutter. 

“I’m really glad, Josh.” Tyler played with the bandage on his arm. 

“What’s your favourite song?” Josh asked randomly.

“I don’t really listen to a lot of music.” Tyler shrugged.

“Really?” Josh wondered.

“I write my own. When I listen to other people’s I realize how shitty mine is. I’d rather not ruin the one thing that makes me feel better.” Tyler answered before trying to keep the conversation going, “Josh what is your family like?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s much of a family.” Josh mumbled.

“Same.” Tyler sighed, “what’s your dad like?” 

Josh’s jaw clenched, “he’s dead.” 

“Oh. Did you like him?”

“Yeah. A lot. He seemed like the only person who would actually listen to me. My mom doesn’t care about anybody but herself.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Tyler said genuinely as he held the bigger teen’s hand.

“What about you? What’s your mom like?” Josh wondered.

“I don’t like to talk about her. I don’t like to talk about either of my parents.” Tyler sighed as he looked at their entwined fingers.

“I get it. It was really hard when my dad died. I was the one who found him hanging. His face and hands were blue and I will remember that expression forever. I walked out and locked myself in my room. I didn’t even tell my mom. I didn’t tell anyone. I just laid in my bed and drew photo after photo until my wrist cramped, and then I heard my mom scream. She had found him too. I still remember that day perfectly.”

“I’m really sorry, Josh.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Things are how they are. Sometimes I just wonder why, y’know? Like why did he do it.” Josh wiped at an oncoming tear.

“Because life fucking sucks. He shouldn’t have left you though. That wasn’t very nice.” Tyler offered.

“Thanks, Tyler. You know, if you ever want to talk about things you can tell me? Like whenever your ready to talk. I know you might not feel comfortable enough around me yet, but when you do, I’m here.”

Tyler smiled, “I am comfortable with you, Josh. I really want to show you somehow. It seems like you and my ukulele are the only ones keeping me sane.” He slightly laughed.

"Could you play me something? One of your songs?" Josh asked above a whisper as he carefully watched the frail boy for a reaction.

Tyler slowly nodded his head, seemingly not sure of himself, digging his notebook out from under his pillow. “Please don’t say anything about it. You don’t need to tell me it’s good or anything, I just want to sing you something.” 

Josh simply nodded, not sure what else he could say as Tyler stood up and grabbed the ukulele that sat on his wardrobe. He sat back down next to Josh and sighed, “I wrote this for piano but I had to update it with ukulele, so it will probably not sound right, or good or anything.” Tyler said before starting to sing right away before Josh could say anything else.

“Here I come, come to you in the very clothes  
That I killed, killed you in and now I know I'm alone  
I walk to you, rain falls from you  
Can you wash me, can you drown me?”

His voice was so broken. It cracked as he hit the high notes and he paused for a second staring at the wall after he sung ‘can you drown me.’ After a pause he went into a full rap and Josh raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“I wanna be a lot of things, so much pent up inside of me  
I wanna be stronger, too long I've sat here undecidedly  
Planning strategy, half of me knows it's all just a fallacy  
Failing miserably, drastically and then I crash dramatically  
Into a wall I've hit a hundred times before  
And yet I still ignore the dark red blood stains on the floor  
And I'm back in front of you, Lord, with the blood on the floor  
Is the blood mine or yours? Don't wanna do this anymore!”

He shouted the last sentence with such force and passion that Josh just wanted to hug him when tears began to shine in the younger boy’s eyes.

“Back and forth between being me and who you call me to be  
You see a man free who thinks he has to buy a key  
To a door but he can't 'cause he's poor and he can't  
Fall down anymore 'cause he's already on the floor  
And his heart is broken and all and this is his call  
But it's more of a cry 'cause he will try nine times  
To realize nine crimes but he has more than nine lives  
So he picks himself up and keeps climbing for the prize again.”

Josh didn’t think his rapping could get much faster but it did. He felt goosebumps begin to raise when Tyler chocked ‘again’ out of breath. 

“Here I come again to you  
Just to show that blood soaked through  
Through my bones and all I own  
Is there a way for me to grow?  
I walk to you, rain falls from you  
Can you wash me, can you drown me, please?

Every time I feel selfish ambition is taking my vision  
My crime is my sentence, repentance is taking commission  
It's taking a toll on my soul, I'm screaming submission and  
I don't know if I am dying or living  
'Cause I will save a face for name's sake  
Abuse grace, take a aim to obtain a new name in a newer place  
But my name is lame, I can't walk and I ain't the same  
And my name became a new destiny to the grave and  
They say the ocean's blue, but it's black right now  
In the dark, on the sand, looking out at my crowd  
Depression and drowning singing now the full parts  
Of lightning reveals where the ocean stops and the sky starts  
I've been told by the sky that the ocean I shall win  
But it's hard for me to see where ocean stops and sky begins  
A random strikes of light remind me of what is true  
But right now the ocean's blacker than black, the sky is too.”

Tyler stoped his rap, breathing hard and looking down at the ground almost in disbelief that he had just done that. 

“Tyler, do you want to be my boyfriend?” Josh nudged his shoulder. He wasn’t sure what else to say. Tyler looked up with tears shinning his eyes before quickly nodding his head.

“Yes.” Tyler instantly smiled causing a few tears to drop. 

Josh leaned in slowly, locking Tyler’s pink lips with his own. It was sweet. Like honey in summer and Josh didn’t want it to end.

Tyler slowly pulled away from the kiss, but kept his arms entwined around Josh’s neck, placing his head on Josh’s wide shoulder.

“Your song was amazing.” Josh whispered into Tyler’s neck before placing a kiss to the soft skin. He could feel Tyler’s smile grow as his face pressed into his shoulder.

“Thank you,” came out mumbled before Tyler pulled away and frowned when he looked at the clock, “you should go. Michelle will be here soon to give me my meds and make sure nobody is in rooms together.”

“Okay,” Josh stood, not wanting to get Tyler in anymore trouble. Or get himself in more trouble either. Michelle said he got a level drop for throwing the first punch. Josh didn’t really care much. So what, He wouldn’t get to go shopping? Boohoo. Tyler was many levels below being able to go out, so Josh didn’t see the point anyways.

Josh kissed Tyler on the cheek before stepping out of the room, walking across the hall into his own.  
He dropped onto the bed and smiled as he felt his lips. Sure they were swollen from getting punched in the face, and sure his nose felt like it was going to fall off, along with his head in general, but fuck, Josh felt like he was floating on clouds right now as he was swaddled in the aftermath of Tyler’s kiss.

———

A week went by fast and honestly Josh couldn’t complain, he was fucking happy. Him and Tyler had been getting along great, stealing kisses, longing touches, and Gerard hadn’t been around at all. Apparently he was a lot more hurt then expected. A concussion to his brain and major bruising. Who knew Tyler could throw such a hard punch. 

Michelle had told the home that the nurse had insisted on him being bed ridden for a couple days and to take it easy, and Tyler was doing somersaults. Frank has been giving the two dirty looks all week, but nothing more and Tyler was beginning to get nervous, knowing Gerard would be returning soon. 

Tyler knew he was in for an ass beating when he got back, and as predicted he was scared for it. 

The couple were laying in Tyler’s bed on Saturday. The two enjoying their weekend together with Tyler not having to go to his dad’s. Their legs were entwined as they chatted on the bed. Tyler was pointing to his ceiling, making figures out of the stucco ceiling.

“Josh! Look it’s you! Your drumming and have a kitty on your shoulder!” Tyler squealed as he pointed to a swirled design of stucco.

“Ty, it’s just a blob.” Josh laughed as he tried to make out the image of himself in the ceiling.

“Maybe it is. Butttttt that can changeeee.” Tyler drawled as he jumped off the bed, grabbing a pen from his desk.

“Ty, your gonna get in so much trouble!” Josh wheezed as the small boy jumped up on the bed and stood, drawing a stick man with drum sticks and a cat onto the ceiling.

“I don’t care. Now I can look at you as I fall asleep.” He laid back down and looked up at the shitty drawing.

“Ty, that’s kinda creepy.” Josh laughed.

“No it’s not, it’s cute!” Tyler pouted, looking at Josh.

“Mhm, maybe your right.” Josh smiled, leaning in to kiss the boy slow and languid. 

Tyler giggled as he pulled away, “look! I even drew spooky Jim!” He pointed to the attempted drawing of a black cat.

Josh laughed as he nestled his head into Tyler’s neck, “mhmm,” he mumbled as he began kissing and sucking at Tyler’s neck.

“Josh,” Tyler slightly sighed out, “you meant it when you said you were going to get us a cat named spooky Jim right?” He asked slightly worried.

“Of course, Beautiful,” Josh kissed his neck and Tyler blushed at the nickname, “remember? I’m going to get out of here, get a job and an apartment, your going to get out a year later and join me. Then we are going to go to the animal shelter and we’re going to pick out the kitty that nobody else wants to adopt and take him home.” 

“That sounds really nice, Josh.” Tyler said with a sad smile.

“Well then why are you upset?” Josh asked picking up the tone in Tyler’s voice.

He shook his head, “It’s nothing.” 

“Clearly it’s something.”

“Josh, it’s awesome and sweet that you have such hope for the future, but you know how I feel about it.”

“Mhm, and I’m trying to add some excitement and drive into your little hopeless little brain.” Josh ran his hands through Tyler’s boyish curls.

“Josh, it’s just that I don’t want you to expect all of this from me. I’m pretty unreliable when it comes to stuff like the future.” 

“Shhhh, Stop dampening the mood, Raincloud.” Tyler let out a giggle at the nickname as Josh went back to working at biting and kissing up his neck.

Tyler moaned as he leaned his head back. Josh stopped and sat silent for a second, seeing if anyone was around and smiled when he heard nobody, assuming they were outside like everyone was supposed to be.

Josh tugged off his shirt and Tyler let out a moan at the sight of Josh’s toned chest and stomach. He smiled before leaning down and kissing down from Tyler’s cheek to jawline to collar bone. 

He tugged Tyler’s shirt off and slowly ran his fingers along the scars that ran widthways, as if he was writing the holiest love letter. 

“Please don’t hurt yourself again,” Josh spoke before kissing his chest, making his way down to Tyler’s pant line.

“I can’t promise that, but I’ll try not to for you, Josh.” Tyler panted as he ran his hands through Josh’s hair.

Josh ignored it as he began unbuttoning Tyler’s jeans. 

“Please keep looking at me,” Tyler cried out and Josh instantly pulled away upon hearing the scared urgency in Tyler’s voice.

“Are you alright? We don’t have to do this if you aren’t ready to.” Josh said as he sat up, hands off of Tyler’s half pulled down pants.

“No, I want to,” Tyler reassured, “just can it be nice please? Like facing towards me?” 

“Of course, Ty. Anything.” Josh smiled as he went back to pulling off his pants leaving the boy underneath him in just his underwear. Josh stood and pulled down his pants as well, leaving them both in their boxer briefs.

“Josh, I have a lot of... scars. Just don’t pay attention to them please.” Tyler said quietly while looking pleadingly into Josh’s eyes. 

“Of course. Your face is too beautiful to look at your scars.” Josh smiled as he kissed the boy.

His hand found Tyler’s growing bulge and gripped it causing Tyler to let out a squeak. 

He kissed back down Tyler’s body before latching his lips onto his spread thighs, alternating between sucking and licking. 

A wet spot began forming on the crotch of Tyler’s underwear causing Josh to smile before grabbing the band. He looked up at Tyler, almost asking for permission before he furiously nodded his head. Josh smirked as he tugged down the boxer briefs, letting Tyler’s length spring free, already leaking.

“Your so pretty.” Josh admired the boy before spitting into his hand and giving the swollen red cock a stroke.

Tyler let out a broken moan as his head flung back. Josh kissed and sucked hickeys onto the sensitive flesh of Tyler’s pale hip bones, adding pretty red and purple shades that contrasted lovely. His hand slowly pumped away as he looked up at Tyler who had his eyes on Josh with his mouth open, letting out little pants and moans.

“You are so pretty, Ty.” He complimented before Tyler whined and held out his hands, as if asking for the older boy. Josh got up and laid over him, keeping his body up with one arm, while his other worked away at Tyler’s length.

“J-josh. Fuck, I want you.” Tyler panted and Josh smirked before he got up and grabbed a pump of lotion that sat on Tyler’s desk, rearranging himself at the end of the bed. He spread the younger boy’s legs and slicked up his fingers with the lotion. His placed his finger at the pink rosebud and looked at Tyler, once again asking for permission. Tyler nodded before Josh slowly pushed his finger into the ring of muscle. Tyler let out a whimper as Josh slowly worked it in, loosening it. 

Tyler began to moan once Josh added another finger as he kissed the boy passionately. Josh’s fingers scissored Tyler’s hole and he quickly commanded for Josh to hurry up.

Josh laughed before standing up and pulling down his, now wet, boxer briefs. Tyler’s mouth salivated at the sight before Josh got a panicked look on his face, “I don’t have a condom, Tyler.”

“It’s fine I don’t care,” Tyler moaned as he spread his legs further.

“Um, well are you clean?” Josh asked.

“Yes, Josh now just fuck me!” Tyler whined before Josh nodded his head eagerly and added a pump of lotion to his so far, untouched dick causing a low moan to come through his throat. He jumped back to the bed and positioned himself in between Tyler’s spread thighs. He lined up his rock hard cock with Tyler’s entrance before slowly pushing in. 

Tyler tensed at the pressure as Josh moaned loudly, “fuck Ty, holy shit you are so tight. Hot,” He grunted before bottoming out, “you good?” He asked and Tyler slowly nodded as he stared at the boy above him. 

Josh pulled back before thrusting in again pulling a moan and a grunt out of himself. Tyler began getting into it once the pleasure out weighed the pain. He began letting out little moans and pants before Josh’s dick tapped at the little bundle of nerves causing him to loudly curse as he grabbed at Josh’s back like a landline. 

“Fuck, there Josh.” Tyler moaned before Josh pushed back in, harder and Tyler felt like he could scream in pleasure. 

He was picking up his pace as Tyler scratched and tugged at Josh’s back all while staring at him the whole time. 

“Fuck, Ty. I’m gonna come soon.” Josh panted out while speeding up even faster as he repeatedly hit Tyler’s prostate causing broken moans to come out. 

“Same.” Tyler panted before he exploded all over Josh and his own stomach as they were sandwiched together.

Josh kept going through Tyler’s high before he let out a sigh and stilled his movement. Tyler felt his hole fill with warmth before Josh slowly pulled out and kissed Tyler on the nose. 

He grabbed Tyler’s pair of discarded underwear on the floor and wiped off his stomach before cleaning off Tyler.

“Thank you.” Tyler said slowly, smiling up at the boy that his heart wouldn’t stop shouting at.

Josh leaned down and placed a languid kiss to his lips, “c’mon you have to get dressed. It’s almost dinner time.” 

Tyler whined as he pulled himself up and grabbed a clean pair of underwear from his drawer before Josh slipped back on his clothes. Tyler dressed before sitting on the edge of the bed next to Josh.

Josh placed his arm around Tyler’s shoulder, and pulled the smaller boy as close as he could get. He rested his head on Josh’s shoulder as slow tears began falling down his face.

“What’s wrong?” Josh asked worried when he heard a small sniffle come from the boy.

“Nothings wrong. That’s the thing. It was so nice. Not rough or demanding. Just nice. Thank you.” Tyler cried. 

Josh pulled the boy into his lap and Tyler turned to face him, straddling his body.

“What do you mean? It’s not usually like that?” Josh asked worried.

Tyler frowned, “no never.” 

“Oh. Well you have me now, so it won’t be like that again, unless you want it like that.” Josh winked and Tyler smiled before kissing Josh’s nose.

“Your so beautiful,” Josh complimented as he kissed the tears on Tyler’s rosy cheeks.

“Josh, you would beat the moon in a pretty contest.” Tyler smiled so wide that Josh could see all his crooked teeth that made him love him even more. Woah, wait. Love? Did Josh love Tyler? Maybe. Each day felt like he grew fonder and fonder of the boy.

“Tyler, why don’t you like to talk about your parents?” Josh asked quietly, before Tyler shook his head. 

“I just can’t say the stuff. I have song after song written about it but I just can’t actually tell the story.” 

"Could you play me something?" Josh asked above a whisper as he carefully watched the frail boy.

Tyler reluctantly nodded his head before wiping his nose on his shirt hem before digging his notebook out from under his pillow. He got off the mattress before kneeling on the ground to pull out a hand drum from bellow the bed frame. He stood and shyly handed it to Josh. 

"Play with me?"

Josh smiled and nodded as he started to pick out a beat. "Something like this?" He asked as he played the simple beat. 

Tyler nodded before sitting back on the bed and opening his notebook. He flipped a few pages before stopping and sighing. "Just don't say anything, okay?" Without hearing an answer from Josh, Tyler got into the song.

_"'Don't you worry baby boy it won't hurt at all.'_  
_That is what you told me the night my life began to fall._  
_An innocent 13 year old living life,_  
_Not wanting to be replacing your wife._  
_You cry saying I look just like her, _  
_But why not you make it up to her?”___

____

____

His voice started shaky and tiny. Sounding beaten and broken as he read along to the words written in messy print. 

_“Fuck you asshole, you ruined my childhood._  
_Going to bed restless praying you were in a good mood._  
_"Hey baby boy, you wanna make daddy feel alive?"_  
_Fuck, you were in that mood I despised._  
_You try to bring back the memories while I cry._  
_I am not my mother, I try to scream, _  
_But I am held down and helpless to flee.”___

____

____

It was louder then the first verse and it was faster now.

_“Mom was smart to run away while she could,_  
_But I find myself feeling angry for good._  
_Why did you leave me with him?_  
_Why did you put me up to this?_  
_Why did you drop me on my ass to fend for myself? _  
_What a mother you are.”___

____

____

He spat the words with such venom. His tongue was a razor as his eyes squinted, reading his rushed writing.

_“Hoe, hoe, hoe, bitch. That is what you are to me,_  
_For leaving me behind with the man who fucking rapes me._  
_Who craves me._  
_Who took my innocence away from me._  
_Thanks again for leaving me slowly shrivel and die, ___  
_in the warm comfort of daddy's lusting eyes.” _  
__

____

____

__

Tyler's voice was different now. It wasn't something Josh had ever heard out of the dainty boy before. He was mad. But the scary type. The kind that demands attention in a sinister way. Like he could kill someone.

_"Ha, but I guess I just give that aura off,_  
_That 'hey, I can just fuck around with this boy and then takeoff'_  
_But don't worry, I'll be fine._  
_I'll get over it with time._  
_Because if I am one thing, it's stupid. ___  
_Forgiving people if they just say sorry, ___  
_because I'm so tired of being lonely. _  
__

_______ _ _ _

__

__

__It was back to normal Tyler by the end. Defeated and hopeless. His voice cracked as he finished and Josh looked at his tear shinned eyes as his hands fell to the skin of the drum, stopping the beat before placing it on the ground next to his feet._ _

__"I-I don't know what to say Tyler. I- oh gosh I didn't know." His voice cracked as all he felt was failure for not realizing what Tyler had been through. It was obvious._ _

__Tyler jumped into Josh's lap and swung his arms around Josh's neck crying into his shoulder._ _

__“Ty, I’m sorry I didn’t realize earlier.” Josh had defeat and pain across his face as he held the shaking boy._ _

__“I said not to say anything.” Tyler cried into his shoulder._ _

__Josh’s mouth shut as nothing but quiet sobs filled the blank white plaster walls._ _

__Anger brewed in his stomach. He hated Tyler’s parents. Even though he didn’t know them, he hated them with every inch of his being. He didn’t understand how 2 people could hurt someone so innocent. Not to mention their child._ _

__“Where do we go from here?” Josh’s voice broke the silence._ _

__“What do you mean?” Tyler questioned as he pulled his red, tear stained face out of Josh’s shoulder._ _

__“Well we cant let your dad get away with this. We need to do something about it!”_ _

__“Josh, we can’t do anything.”_ _

__“Huh? What do you mean Tyler?”_ _

__“I said I’m not doing anything about it. It will only make matters worse.”  
Tyler’s voice stayed calm as he looked down at his knees and played with his hands._ _

__“Tyler, he hurt you! He can go to jail for this!” Josh stood up, picking Tyler up out of his lap and onto the bed._ _

__“Josh stop.”_ _

__“What do you mean stop?! Tyler he is fucking scum! I want him rotting in jail!” Josh saw red as he pointed a finger at Tyler not understanding why he didn’t want to do anything._ _

__“Josh, lower your voice. This is my life. I’m choosing what to do with it.”_ _

__“He fucking raped you!” He screamed in Tyler’s face close to tears._ _

__“Shut the fuck up Josh!” Tyler’s voice was the loudest Josh had ever heard it. It felt like the room shook. “You don’t think I know what he did?! Don’t tell me what to do! Believe me I’ve thought this all through! You don’t know what your talking about, so don’t say anything!” Tyler screamed through tears before racing to the door, “and don’t you dare tell anyone.” He said quieter this time before turning out the door and speed walking down the hall, despite this being his room._ _

__Josh grabbed a pillow from the bed and screamed as hard as he could into it before chucking it across the room. It hit Tyler’s ukulele on his wardrobe and Josh instantly ran over checking if it was alright. He sighed in relief when he saw it was intact. He would have never been able to forgive himself if it was broken. He breathed out in defeat before walking out the door close to crying. He just wanted to sleep._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF sorry for that ending :( But Hey, i gave you a lot of fluff that chapter (and smut HELLO) so be thankful. Please send me comments cause they are literally what I'm living for.


	5. CAMISADO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such the long wait!! I planned to have this done on Monday but my sister had a baby lol. She's real cute though, so I _did _put the baby before finishing this chapter. BUT LOOK AT THAT IT'S FINISHED! Hope you enjoy♥︎__
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> _TW- violence, blood, homophobic language_  
> 

Tyler had been ignoring him and it was killing Josh. He was back to sitting alone at breakfast the next day, Tyler had looked at their usual table before turning a blind eye and sitting next to Brendon. 

 

Josh stared with burning rage as Brendon smiled and threw an arm around Tyler’s shoulder. He could see Tyler smirking and looking back at his table before turning away, back to Brendon.

 

Josh squeezed his fist in fury before he heard a snap and looked down to see his plastic fork snapped in half. He had to calm down. This was just a boy, his head tried to say but his heart screamed at him. _This isn’t just a boy! This is Tyler!_ _We need him! He needs you!_

 

Josh grunted before he stood up, marching over to Tyler and Brendon.

 

“Tyler, can I talk to you?” Josh asked, causing the boy to turn around from laughing at something Brendon said.

 

“No...” Tyler rolled his eyes before turning back to Brendon. Josh felt sick when he looked down at Tyler’s wrist. He could see fresh crimson staining through his sleeve. He must’ve gotten more razors from Brendon.

 

He wanted to jump over the table and choke Brendon out for giving him them.

 

“Tyler, _please_.” Josh practically begged.

 

“Josh, what part of me avoiding you, makes you think I want to speak?” Tyler spoke with a razor tongue as Brendon just stared.

 

“Tyler, I just want to talk about last night.” I persisted.

 

“There’s nothing to talk about!” He shouted, this time standing up. The room went quiet, similar to the fight with Gerard.

 

Tyler looked around at the growing audience before lowering his voice, “nothing happened. So don’t act like your special.” Tyler stormed out of the dining room leaving Josh crushed as he watched the boy run away.

 

_Had last night meant nothing to him?_

 

Josh knew he was probably speaking out of anger, but it still left a knife in his lung as he frowned and also stepped out of the dining room. He didn’t feel like eating.

 

He walked the halls. Not knowing much more to do before deciding to go back to his room. When he got about 4 rooms down the hall away from him and Tyler’s, music drifted into the air. 

 

It was a familiar sound of a ukulele being strummed and the small boy singing powerful chords. 

 

Josh stepped a couple doors closer to listen to his warped sounding voice.

 

_“I don’t know_

_Where I’m supposed to go_

_So I might just_

_Take my pride and go_

_Some people, they know, know everything_

_But I know that they don't know my heart_

_Cause I believe in love_

_And I hope I can show you what I mean_

_And I don't believe love's for me_

_So won't you come around and prove me wrong_

_Cause I, oh yeah I_

  
_Believe in love_  
_And I hope I can show you what I mean_  
_And I don’t believe love’s for me_  
_So won’t you come around and prove me wrong_

 

_Won’t walk the world_

_Any different_

_And my path won’t change until you_

_Make a wall and make me fall_

_And break me down_

_I don’t know, I don’t know_

_If I wrote this song in vain_

 

_I, oh yeah I_

_Believe in love_

_And I hope I can show you what I mean_

_And I don’t believe love’s for me_

_So won’t you come around and prove me wrong_

 

_You don’t know me_

_And I don’t know you_

_Tell me what should I_

_Do oh..._

_So won't you come around and prove me wrong”_

 

He finished with a drawn out note, his strums coming to an end. He sniffed a bit before Josh heard the slight sound of the ukulele being placed back to it’s designated spot on Tyler’s wardrobe. Josh stood silent for a second, processing the boy’s beautiful but sad sounding words.

 

He found his feet walking into the room before he could think not to. Tyler looked back while sitting on the floor before turning back around upon seeing Josh.

 

“Josh, leave.” 

 

“Ty-“

 

“Josh, leave! I don’t want to talk to you.” Tyler shouted, keeping his back faced away from Josh the whole time.

 

Josh sighed and walked out, knowing if he stayed it would only make things worse. He walked across the hall into his room and laid on the springy bed, causing squeaks it squeal when he weight was rested upon it.

 

He stared at the ceiling, losing time as numerous thoughts flooded his mind like a breaking dam. Time passes in a matter of seconds and before he knew it, it was lights out, his vision blurring from unshed tears. He blinked and quickly wiped the escaping tears before turning over and falling asleep.

 

— — —

 

Breakfast was much like last nights dinner. Josh sat alone at the boys usual table while Tyler sat with Brendon, over exaggerating his movements by throwing his head back to let out loud laughs all while frequently looking back to see Josh staring daggers of envy at the two.

 

This continued on until Josh’s attention was brought to the dining room doors. Boys and girls cheered and greeted as Gerard walked through the doors. All healed and ready to be back into the home like normal. Josh’s stomach churned before he looked over to see Tyler’s face pale. The boy sat staring at his food with a grimace that could only be described as fear across his face. 

 

Gerard sat at a table full of girls, smiling and greeting them all with a wink. Josh looked over to Frank who looked down hurt. Josh felt bad for the guy, but he should have thought this through before getting involved with as horrible and homophobic person as Gerard.

 

— — —

 

Josh laid on the grass under that tree, he and Tyler sat under his first day here. It felt like such a long time ago. He supposed it had only been about 2 weeks and that blew his mind.

 

He couldn’t believe that 2 weeks ago he didn’t know Tyler existed. 2 weeks ago he didn’t know what pure admiration and infatuation felt like. He didn’t know what possibly _love_ felt like. Sure he had felt it with his father but that was of an unconditional sort. This was of a _real_ type.

 

Josh watched Tyler walk outside, clutching his notebook. He held his hand as a sort of shield from the sun as he looked at Josh under the tree before frowning and looking for a different place to sit. He settled for a grassy spot next to the basketball court. Before he knew it, Tyler was absorbed into writing, not focusing on anything else.

 

Josh saw him first, Gerard’s flaming red hair approaching Tyler with a basketball in hand.

 

“Fag,” Gerard’s voice echoed the empty asphalt centre. He threw the ball into Tyler’s lap, hitting his journal. “C’mon. We are playing a game.”

 

Tyler looked up, trying to look non threatened despite the fear in his eyes Josh could see. “What if I don’t want to?” Tyler spoke evenly.

 

“I’d say you’re a sissy fag who’s scared to get his ass beat.” Gerard spat.

 

“You know, you could get a bit more original with these name choices.” Tyler rolled his eyes.

 

“Well it’s what you are isn’t it, Fag?” Gerard challenged.

 

“Shut the fuck up Gerard. You’re annoying as shit.” Tyler raised his voice as he stood up, trying to get to his height despite being a couple inches shorter still.

 

“Okay, I’m ‘annoying’. Get over it. C’mon bud, let’s play a four on four.”

 

“Fine.” Tyler sighed. He knew he wouldn’t be able to talk Gerard out of it with ought starting another fight.

 

“Great! Okay, Brendon, Andy, Dallon. You’re with me. Frank, Ryan, Mikey, sorry guys but your with the dick sucker.” Gerard ordered.

 

“But, I’m always on your team, G?” Frank asked sort of quietly.

 

“Things change.” Gerard rolled his eyes. “Okay first one to 10 wins. Jump in is Dallon and Ryan.” 

 

The two tallest boys from each team stepped forward. Gerard threw the ball up, letting the boys jump to try and push it on their side. Dallon’s long arm touched it, pushing it to Gerard’s side of the court. 

 

“Is it just me or do these teams not seem fair.” Mikey muttered. He was Gerard’s little brother but they were never associated with each other, Gerard preferred to stay away from the boy.

 

“They fucking aren’t.” Tyler mumbled as he looked at his team. Sure he had Ryan who was pretty tall, but he was as skinny as a twig. Then he had Mikey and Frank. Both weren’t the tallest. Tyler sighed. Basketball just made him think of his dad. When he was still at public school, basketball was the one thing besides English he was actually _good_ at. Of course his father ruined that too and took the fun out of it, making it just about being the best. If being the best meant he would practice outside until his feet bled, then his dad would make him.

 

Gerard had the ball and began dribbling it over to Tyler’s side, trying to add fancy footwork to intimidate the team and Tyler just rolled his eyes. He approached Gerard and smacked the ball from his hand, grabbing it and blocking out Gerard in the process. A “Hey!” was let out before Tyler was dribbling it over to Gerard’s side. Brendon stood, holding his arms out trying to grab the ball and Tyler easily maneuvered through, shooting and scoring.

 

Tyler’s team cheered, and patted him on the back as Gerard sat in quiet fury.

 

The next round went quite similar, ending with Tyler shooting another goal. Then the next, then the next.

 

It was 4 to nothing and Gerard was a ball of quiet fury. His face was about as red as his hair as he did the throw in, tossing it to Andy before jumping back into the game. They passed it back and forth before approaching the net. Tyler jumped in front of the attempted score, blocking the net. Gerard grabbed the ball and basically trampled Tyler, pushing his down to run past him with the ball and re shoot.

 

“Hey! Foul!” Tyler screamed as he sat with bloody knees. 

 

“This is a contact sport. Get over it Fairy.” Gerard spat as he shot and scored causing his team to cheer.

 

“That’s bullshit!” Tyler screamed, standing up, letting a drip of blood trail down his leg.

 

Gerard ignored him, the rest of his team shoot Tyler empathetic looks but knew not to say anything. Gerard passed the ball to Mikey, letting the boy stand under the net and throw it in.

 

Tyler caught it angrily, dribbling to the other side of the net. Gerard and his team tried to block him, and Tyler easily slid past before scoring once again.

 

Tyler couldn’t help himself but cockily smirk back at Gerard, giving high fives to his team.

 

Gerard gestures for his team to gather, whispers being heard and furious shakes of everyone’s heads. Tyler scrunched his eyebrows, trying to hear what Gerard was trying to tell them. He heard curt ‘no!’s and ‘I don’t know, G’ but Gerard shot them a look and they all quieted. 

 

Brendon threw in the ball, Andy catching it and began to charge to the net. Tyler swiped the ball, fairly easily as if he was just handing it to him. 

 

Without looking back, Tyler ran towards the net, ignoring the multiple pairs of shoes hitting the asphalt charging after him. This was common it was basketball. Something didn’t feel right though and Tyler looked back. 

 

Things blurred as hands grabbed at the ball, he was surrounded and as he tried to escape the circle of boy’s a sharp pain was felt in his ribs.

 

His hands gripped at his side, falling to the ground out of pain. He screamed when he pulled his hand away, seeing that familiar red colour.

 

“What the fuck!” Tyler screamed. Everybody ran and surrounded the injured boy who laid on the ground.

 

“Tyler?!” Josh pushed through the crowd, dropped to his knees and looking at the boy’s side. A clean, diagonal cut was made on his side that seemed to be bleeding _a lot._

 

“What the fuck did you do Gerard?!” Josh screamed at the man who stood with his clean, bloodless hands in the air. 

 

Now Pete was pushing through the crowd, falling next to Josh to inspect Tyler. 

 

“Hey, I got an issue.” Pete spoke into his Walkie talkie, holding a hand over the wound to stop the bleeding. At this point Tyler was crying with his eyes in his forearm. “Joseph has been stabbed on the basketball court. I don’t know who it was. It is a moderately serious laceration. I’ve steadied the bleeding but I need a first aid kit and a nurse.” He spoke into the small radio. “Back up! Nobody leave this court!” Pete screamed at the crowd. 

 

Everyone followed the directions and stepped back besides Josh who still kneeled next to Tyler. Pete didn’t say anything about it. 

 

However, Josh’s head practically snapped, looking back when he heard a slight laugh, “who knew Tyler would be crying. Doesn’t the kid cut himself for fun?” Josh stood up and charged at the red haired boy. He set a hard punch to the boy’s face _again_. Gerard stumbled back before trying to charge. His friends wisely held him back, knowing Gerard was in the wrong at this point and Josh was grateful for that. 

 

He speed back to Tyler, seeing the nurse and Michelle running from the door with a first aid kit in hand. 

 

“Okay, we have to get him to my room.” The nurse spoke as she looked at Tyler laying on the ground with his face in his arm, letting out quiet sobs.

 

“Okay everyone! Whoever did this to Tyler is NOT getting away with it! Everyone up against the wall. You are all getting searched.” Michelle screamed. She looked and sounded mad. Very mad. The security guard also walked out, leather gloves and all, ready to search every teen for the shiv used to cut Tyler. Everyone groaned and walked towards the wall, Josh sighing, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get out of it. He just wanted to go into the nurses room with Tyler.

 

Pete picked up the boy bridal style, walking towards the door. By this point Tyler looked limp in his arms, hanging loosely and Josh’s heart speed up in fear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SERIOUS QUESTION HERE! Do you guys ship Ryden or Brallon? Personally (ik you don't care about my opinion but here it is) I believe (okay i KNOW) Ryden was actually real and Brallon was just stage gay. If you look at Brendon and Ryan together you can literally tell there was something going on from how they acted. Like, as hard as it is for me to admit, i can say that Joshler probably isn't real (dose not stop me from shipping the hell out of it though) but Ryden is something i can not say is/was not a thing. LIKE FIGHT ME IF YOU THINK IT WASNT REAL. Sorry for that rant but i just had to get it off my chest. If you aren't a ryden believer, message me and i will give you so much proof you'll be shitting your pants and thanking me for bringing light to your sins.


	6. I’m a shitty person lmao

Hey guys... I just wanted to keep you up to date so you know what’s going on. I know a lot of you are wondering where the hell the next chapter is and I’m sort of working on it. I’ve had a bit of a bump In the road with eating and was put into the hospital for a bit. I’m out now but I’ve really just been feeling like fucking shit and been having problems with my family cause of it. I don’t want this to sound like a sob story, I just want you to understand I’m not in the best place to be writing right now. I’ll try to get back into it soon but I’m not sure how soon that will be. Please just be patient with me <3


End file.
